I enjoy reading about conspiracy theories. I make some, though I usually tie my stuff with history and numbers, and I never go against scientific facts. Most theories I make are against the political elite, and are usually about oligarchs taking turns riding the backs of the Filipino people, running a neo-feudalistic government, kind of like the Game of Thrones but without a badass queen riding dragons and white walkers. (Shame)

 

About two weeks ago, during a podcast interview by his Cleveland Cavaliers teammates, NBA young star Kyrie Irving said he believes that the Earth is flat, and that he is even doubtful of  the existence of other heavenly bodies, claiming that the US government is abusing its power to filter information and force-feed what it wants the citizens to believe.

 

Ready your tin foil hats guys, and channel your inner Kuya Riyoh, because Yondu is coming to abduct us all and sell our organs to the Overlords of the Universe so they can start cloning us for the future Galactic Great War.

 

All clowning aside, this is a real issue.

 

It’s not like Irving is a trash-ass hippie smoking too much weed for his own good, or a frustrated writer like me whose sphere of influence, if you can even call it that, is just within their families and friends.

 

Irving is a world-famous athlete, a teammate of a world-famous player LeBron James (who says it’s okay Irving thinks that because he’s his little brother, the f?), and both are playing in a world-famous sports association. Nothing stresses that fact more than that what he said in a podcast of his lesser famous teammates became international news right away.

 

There are kids wanting to be Irving – well, I can’t blame them because he’s awesome. He’s an Olympic gold medalist, a four-time AllStar (and a one-time MVP of the game), a one-time NBA champion, and most importantly, he has forever etched his name into Ohio, and maybe even NBA, folklore with a championship-sealing dagger that basketball junkies fondly call as The Shot. Plus, he’s on the way to having his own NBA Jam journey with an Uncle Drew Movie.

 

A star as famous as Irving going against the grain can cause a ripple so wide that it can actually start making people believe the Earth is flat. The Earth is not flat. I suggest Irving spend his NBA dollars on a driller and dig through his fockin backyard. If the world is flat, he won’t go through miles of crust, magma and more crusts then burst out of the ground in India or somewhere across the spherical globe, instead he’ll either fall off or go nowhere.

 

The NBA star did not even handle the backlash well. He called for the Diva rout in LeBron’s How-to-escape-sticky-media-situations playbook, taking attention away from what he said and then blamed the media for making a big deal out of it.

 

Before you think it is really overblown, I suggest you read up on America’s current battle against ‘alternative facts’ (a euphemism for wth are you smoking), fake news and anti-intellectualism.

 

If you want something that hits closer to home – we face these battles in the Philippines too. Fake news, alternative history, and anti-intellectualism (edi wow) are serious issues we have to answer, along with other more congruent obstacles of course.

 

Hopefully, Facebook, where a lot of these fake turds get cycled, is now starting to combat fake sites. Although, after Facebook PH took down Catcalling in PH but allowed any page with RBreezy to return, I think the Filipino fight against fallacious information is an uphill one. Twerk pa more.

 

Fake news and alternative fact wizards around the world know what they’re doing. Like with US president Trump and Rodrigo Duterte (again, sorry guys), they know how and when to push the right buttons (well, in case of rabid dutertrolls -smash them keyboards bruh).

 

How many believe that Tallano clan tale? How many commented ‘job well done, ser Bato’ before reading any Tokhang story?  How many clicks do Adobo Chronicles get per day? Has anyone seen that “Big One” crap that is now making thousands of gullible Pinoys panic because an earthquake will devastate the nation in less than 10 days? Has anyone bothered to check where Mocha Uson gets her info?

Some examples:

screenshot_2017-03-01-20-46-59

screenshot_2017-03-01-15-59-21

 

This situation is both sad and disturbing. It is sad because it’s a reflection of our nation’s educational system. No offense to teachers, since some of them are great at what they do (Hi po, Mam Buzar), while some, um, are not so much. Diba, Gamo?

 

And it is disturbing because this problem can devolve into something worse – historical revision.

 

Earlier last week, a crowd reportedly gathered by Imee Marcos cried that the EDSA revolution was fake, that it was a story told to glorify the Yellows, who are now trying to usurp power from King Digong, much like they did to King Marcos the First in 1986.

Okay, I get it, the Yellows failed to uplift living standards after bringing down the Marcos regime, that’s why it is hard for the common folk to see EDSA in a positive way, and that’s why they still love Apo Lakay and are eager to see his reincarnation back in power.

But hear this, as I heard your side of the story, the reason why our country even needed salvation in the first place was because King Marcos borrowed so much gold from the Iron Bank of Braavos and used our country as collateral.  True, he built this and he built that, but our parents paid for it (and we are still paying for it), while his scions are getting whatever they want, including the chance to learn in England that you can vote for two Presidents (LoLoLoL).

 

I take responsibility for my vote last election.

 

The things that happened now prove that it was all a smokescreen to put the Marcoses back in power. If you haven’t realized that, open your eyes a little more to see it clearly.

 

BUT, hindsight is 20/20. And even without that it is plain to see that Lord Digong was the best choice then.

 

Mar Roxas was a no-balls traditional politician, who gave up his best chance to become president in 2010 just because PNot’s mother died a year before the elections. Against GMA’s Gibo, the unloved Gordon and a slew of others whose names I cannot even remember, the Liberal Party would have won with Roxas as candidate anyhow.

 

Jojo Binay is Marcos-lite. He received the fiefdom of Makati in the after-events of EDSA and has never let go. His family has took residence in the City Hall, and short-changed improvements in that business metropolis. “Ganito kami sa Makati” was the tag-line, but “Ganito kami sa Ayala Avenue” was more fitting. He’s the patriarch of a political clan which got fat in decades as rulers, and his seed has spent the last few elections taking turns with the scepter of power, sounds familiar?

 

Miriam Santiago. The most deserving of them all, but had health problems and had BongBong Marcos as Vice President. Need I say more?

 

Grace Poe – Out of all the candidates, she’s the freshest in politics, and I have to admit I was really wowed after hearing some of her planned projects. But circling around this neophyte then were vultures old (Tito Sotto) and young (Chiz, kind of). And I really hate her mother’s acting performances.

 

Digong was this Half-Moro who did not care for old school politician etiquette, was willing to kill bad guys, and always pushed Roxas and his party mates to the brink of crying.

 

It was part wanting to see a Mindanaoan, Half-Moro president, and part wanting to see the Liberal party take a hit.

 

Well, I guess it bit my ass, since my hatred of the Aquinos and the Yellows paved way for the return of an older, darker power that has been vanished a whole age ago.

 

From Calvin Abueva, to the Marc Pingris – Allein Maliksi duet, and now Arwind Santos, why do these men cry after losing to Ginebra?

 

Abueva said the Kings were favored by some heavenly entity (yeah, right). Ping waited for interviewers to turn off recorders before making his cooking show remark, luckily Spin.ph’s Karlo Sacamos had the balls to write it. Maliksi lied about his luto gesture, saying he was asking his teammates to scramble, then admitted it later in his social media account, even daring his bashers to say their negative comments to his face. Santos, after attempting 211 three-pointers in Game 2, cried about Joe Devance’s alleged violations in crunch time. He also told on Kevin Ferrer after their verbal spat in Game 3, like a child telling on a playmate after a silly altercation.

 

I have already asked Pingris (in my dream press conference of course) if he sang the same cooking show tune during his glory days under Tim Cone, when they bamboozled TNT and attempted 41 free throws from the stripe and conceding only two foul shouts for the Tropa. Well, he avoided that question.

 

So let me ask Arwind now. Can you hear yourself? You told the media about JDV’s late game infractions, then said your team don’t look at those missed calls. Then you said you won the mind games with Ferrer but you cried about it to the reporters later, and you even said that you asked Ferrer if “may napatunayan ka na ba?”. So again, Mr. Santos, who is one Congress-stint away from the Manny Pacquiao Hall of Fame, can you hear yourself?

 

Siguro masakit talaga makangkong ng kangkong, kaya kayo nag iiyakan. Huhuhuhu

 

NSD! Kangkonatics to!

 

Last Thursday, I had the privilege to listen to one of Nanay Cristi Fermin’s golden lessons: First, she said “wag magpasadlak sa depression” and boom! in an instant her texter’s issues vanished. Then, she told her: “Tandaan anak, tanghali na lang ang tapat ngayon!” Wow, her words are so immaculate that everyone should set aside their time to hear her teachings every afternoon in Radio Singko. Godspeed po Nay!

On a serious note, she did quote someone about writers “having no masters except his own soul”, and to me it was somehow true.

I have regained some form of creativity since starting Iskrambled Egg, and I am trying to read as much as I can from now on.It helps keep me sane, to have a place where you can voice out what you think about stuff.

And it is a plus if your friends and families share it without you asking them to, and if you get quoted by your Kabarangays.

Thanks guys.

Patay tayo dyan, mga Ka-DDS.

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